Showing posts with label Internal Monologue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Internal Monologue. Show all posts

Monday, February 2, 2026

The Chaos of Commutes

Pattern Recognition: Sector 4 Train

The pattern is always there, if you know how to look. My handler calls it "embracing the stochastic." I call it a headache. The 8:15 AM train is a beautiful instrument of controlled implosion. Every passenger follows a string, a variable in an equation they can't see.

See the woman in the red coat? She will trip getting on the train. The man with the briefcase will catch her. Their children will one day tear down a pantheon of sleeping gods. Not my problem. My problem is the ripple effect.

The screech of the brakes is a C-sharp. Always. It harmonizes with the low hum of the third rail—a frequency that makes fillings ache and ghosts jittery. A butterfly flaps its wings in Tokyo; a subway car full of oblivious souls in New York hurtles toward a future I have to gently, ever so gently, nudge. The model says a delay of three-point-four seconds is all it will take. My hand rests on the emergency brake lever. Just a touch. Just enough to break the pattern. Or start a new one.

--Model Input Log K-42, Self-Correction Entry 7

Monday, December 15, 2025

Just Another Wednesday

(An Internal Monologue)

The buzz in my head isn't the usual anima static. It's more... an echo. Of a scream, maybe. Or a choice. They call it pragmatic. Necessary. The greater good, framed in quarterly reports and projected impact ratios. I signed off on it. The data was irrefutable. Three hundred souls. To save a million. The math is simple. Elegant, even.

But the silence in the apartment now, it's not elegant. It's just... heavy. The city outside, a thousand lights blinking, each one a life humming with mundane purpose. Did they feel the ripple? The tiny void I punched in the fabric of their everyday? Probably not. That’s the point, isn’t it? The secret war. Clean. Efficient, Invisible.

My hand trembles a little as I pour another drink. Not from fear. Never fear. Maybe from a residual charge. Or just fatigue. Yeah, fatigue. It’s been a long week. Another long week. How many long weeks make a lifetime?

Sometimes, I wonder if the Templars are right. All their talk of righteousness and ancient oaths. Maybe there's a comfort in believing in something truly good, truly evil. With us... it's all shades of gray, meticulously categorized and optimized. We trade one horror for another, always with a profit margin in mind.

Is this what winning feels like? This cold, quiet ache behind the eyes? This persistent hum of justification? I look at my reflection in the dark glass of the window. Just another face in the crowd. Just another cog in the machine. Just another Wednesday.

And tomorrow, the cycle begins again. More data. More choices. More echoes.